2.3.08

George vs. Condi

Dialog między Prezydentem Bushem a jego doradcą do spraw bezpieczeństwa narodowego Condoleezą Rice napisany przez dramaturga z Chicago Jamesa Shermana dla uczczenia objęcia przywództwa Komunistycznej Partii Chin przez Hu Jintao.

George W. Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condoleezza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the UN on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it. I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the UN.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: No Yassir! The guy at the UN.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the UN?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the UN.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone! (Condi picks up the phone).
Condi: Rise here.
George: Rise? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls. May be we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.

By James Sherman – Playwrights Ensemble of Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago.

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